Anatomically Correct B♭

I'm not a barbie with a perfect figure. Never have been. I was 30 pounds lighter before fibromyalgia. Because I'm not as able to be as active as I used to, and because of the meds, I'm carrying some extra pounds around.

My decision to go flat was very personal. I've explained those reasons ( see Lemonade) and I feel confident I've made the right decision and the best choice for me.

I'm no longer anatomically correct. My doctor took me seriously when I told him to get all that boobage out from under my arms. He did. My incision goes all the way to my back. And dadgumit, it hurts!

I'm glad I won't have that bulge (aka: boobage) under my arms any more. The healing and the pain is taking longer than I thought it would, even though I'm improving daily. Baby steps. But by golly, my pits feel like they've been sandpapered!

Crappy cancer has deformed and destroyed my body. It certainly wasn't that great before but now it's worse. And it occurred to me that even wearing a prosthesis, there won't be cleavage.

I need a tee-shirt with "B♭" on the front. I refuse to be ashamed or embarrassed about my body. It's real. I'm  alive. I pray I can help other women. I'm now known as a 'breast cancer survivor' (a title I never wanted) even though I'll live with crappy cancer the rest of my life; and more especially the next 5 years.

I'm still struggling with how weird it feels without boobs. I've searched my brain for a way to describe it and there simply isn't one. It's going to take some getting used to.  . . . . after all, I've had boobs for the better part of my life!

The struggle is real people!  I've struggled with back spasms, restless leg, chafing in my pits, pain and tenderness in my chest, exhaustion, and a killer of a headache. Yep, I had all I could deal with and finally cried. Boohooed is more accurate. (I didn't even cry when I got the news, so cut me some slack here) Cried really hard for a good 10 minutes while my hubster comforted me and held me in his arms. This is HARD! Stupid crappy cancer has forever changed my life and that ticks me off!