Cancer stole from me

There's a plethora of dirty little secrets in breast cancer treatment that nobody tells you. My latest complaint. . . . . it switches off a woman's sexual desire. My crappy cancer was estrogen and progesterone positive, both hormones needed in your body for many reasons, but now my old body has neither. No hormones at all. So crappy cancer stole my desire. I've been on these meds for one month and it's either take them or risk the cancer coming back.

The limited research into this "problem" is to get women lubricated enough to tolerate sex, but that certainly doesn't address the vaginal atrophy from lack of hormones! I'm not a candidate for any hormones that will maintain the normality. Crappy cancer meds that I have to take for 5 years turned off the switch. I'm told there's nothing that can be done about that. And honestly, it's like having a sexual lobotomy.

It hurts that my desire for the person I love the most has been turned off by the lack of hormones. My heart is there, but my body rebels. A fundamental part of myself has disappeared! All the research I've read suggests including lubricants, or anti depressants- because of course it's all in my head. I'm urged to embrace my new normal, to find new ways of intimacy. And all I want is a hug, a glass of wine and sleep. Blessed sleep. A body without hormones has ZERO energy. The fatigue is getting worse (another crappy symptom) as are the muscle and body aches. Yesterday, I slept for 14 hours straight! I don't know if I'm willing to live like this for 5 years, so I'm faced with yet another decision about whether to stay on these stupid meds to prevent crappy cancer. 

I'm not the same person, and why would I be? The dry skin, peeling and chipping nails, hair thinning, bone and joint pain, muscle pain, headaches, hot flashes, insomnia, weakness, osteoporosis. . . . . are all just some other fun side affects. So, when you ask me, "What's wrong?" Just assume I'm dealing with one or all of the above. Cancer stole more from me besides my boobs.