I am NOT a Cryer!

I hate to cry and I seldom do. I've always been tough and able to deal with things in a very stressful world. I've always had a stressful job, worked long hours, volunteered a lot, and I just DO. NOT. CRY.

But now, I find tears running down my cheeks quite often. Commercials, Lifetime movies. . . .  LIFE!
I'm overly emotional about the tiniest things. Mood swings are out of control. I hate it! Suck it up, Buttercup, and get a grip! Cried several times on Christmas day.

I am having some weird side affects too with no explanation. Chills to the point of my teeth rattling with NO fever, then, 30 seconds later dripping in sweat. I cannot sleep. I barely doze on and off and start my days off totally exhausted. My nights are awful with very little sleep. I can only sleep on my side for a short period of time because my sides and underarms still hurt.

I've never been nervous or anxious. Now, I get a little scared just leaving the house. I don't want to become a recluse, but I'm just perfectly content to stay home. It has become a security blanket of sorts. . . . . a way to avoid anything happening outside my immediate world and family. I'm simply not the same person. At all. Stupid crappy cancer. . . . . I blame you for all of this!