Therapy begins: Fight or Flight

Here we go....therapy begins and I'm hesitant. Not scared or nervous, just doubtful. Aremidex is what they are discussing putting me on because I'm post menopausal. The side effects are frightening to read but that's true of any medication. However, my survival rate is a whopping 93.5%! Don't you just love it when they give you statistics? I'm a number now. 

More labs and tests tomorrow to see if I need chemo. Total waste of time because I'm not taking it. (A 2.1% cure rate isn't high enough to my way of thinking.) I've basically been in 'fight or flight' mode since my diagnosis and just when I think I'm pulling myself out of it and coming back to my "new normal" something else is thrown at me. 

These crappy meds cause depression and mood swings. Really? Like I haven't already been there, done that! Sleep deprivation. . . . makes me laugh! I haven't slept well in 2 months! Weight gain is another to look forward to, as though my fibromyalgia meds and hypothyroid haven't already put 30 pounds on me. 

I could go on and on but these are the ones that most women experience on this drug. And I'm supposed to take it for 5 years! WOOHOO! Crappy cancer just won't let me live my life. It's like a little black cloud over my head at all times . . . . Always reminding me. 

I'm still experiencing tenderness in my pits and sides which make it difficult to sleep or do anything physical. My scar is healing beautifully so THERE'S a bright spot in this journey! 

Warning! Warning! Warning! ⚠

PICTURE to follow below. 👇

My tattoo artist has artwork for me to look at and take measurements. I'm excited beyond words to see what he's come up with for me to look and feel feminine again. It's the one thing I have to look forward to! 

And of course I'll post pics of the process! 

I pray daily for all the pink sisters out there going thru this crappy cancer journey. You are not alone. My strength is from my Savior who walks with me and often carries me. My wonderful husband who continues to kiss the scars and tells me I'm beautiful is a constant source of strength and encouragement to me. Don't ever give up, and do what's right for you; for there is no "one size fits all" when it comes to crappy cancer. 

P.S. Dry skin I hate you too! (just another symptom of crappy cancer)